For the past 3.5 years, I've dreamed of this day. The day we could add to our family. The past 3.5 years have consisted of ups and downs, triumphs and heartache. I've learned more about myself during this time than in the 29 years before. I've grown, been stretched, and humbled in ways I wouldn't necessarily wish on anyone. Yet because of these peaks and valleys, here we are. Awaiting our miracle baby.
At church this past Sunday we studied the story of Abraham, Sarah and Hagar (Gen 16). Though the story is messy, the parallels in my life were so convicting. Not only do I feel (in hindsight) that I tried to control my own fertility instead of pressing into the Lord, I also felt that because I wasn't pregnant I was being punished in some way. Our pastor said something that really resonated with me during his sermon: "God is not going to bless unfaithfulness, no matter how airtight it seems to you." I couldn't control things on my own, no matter how hard I tried. Until I surrendered to His will in my life, I couldn't expect to be blessed. I had to be changed in order to receive His blessings.
Looking back gives me such hope for the future. Seeing His hand in the gift of this sweet baby girl solidifies all I know to be true of our savior: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
I'm so excited to meet her, to hold and kiss her, but mostly to share with her her story. She is so loved, so wanted and so needed...and we can't wait to let her know!
I'll be induced Wednesday morning, February 12th. We would love your prayers for a quick and safe delivery!
And just for those curios minds...this is what 40 weeks looks like:
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